Game 18: Dodgers 2 – Brewers 1

The matchup: Dodgers vs Brewers (6.19.16)
Special Guest: My lovely wife.
Snacks: Frozen adult root beer, frozen lemonade, frozen beer foam Kirin, Iced Blended Mocha, a few garlic fries, the only solid food I ate all day. It was that hot.
Giveaway: Father’s Day boxer shorts!
Memorable Moment: Not melting.

Sno-cone Vendor

Sorry, Vin. This sno-cone vendor was the most popular guy at the ballpark.

RECAP:  This was arguably the most brutal Dodger game I’ve ever attended. And that includes the rock bottom misery of the McCourt era. With the heat index well past 100 degrees, staying cool was going to be everyone’s top priority. The Dodgers going for the series win? Whatevs.

Dodger Stadium Father's Day

This was the crowd right before the game started. I think a lot of fathers out there willingly said yes to a trip to IKEA instead.

Thanks to one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, our seats are in the shade with a row to spare. For day games, that’s a 20 degree difference and so clutch. The only problem was that a few of the regulars from the lower rows of our section had migrated up to the cool comfort of the shade.

Things were quickly sorted out though.

If the apocalypse ever comes to fruition during a Dodger home game, I shall rest easy knowing that part of Section 2 has the ability to swiftly and smoothly form a democratic utopian society. We all did a headcount and squeezed as many people into the shade that we could. It was nice to know that we had each others’ backs.

Once our improvised seating chart was locked down, it was time to procure frozen beverages and I made the most amazing discovery. The inconspicuous Coffee Bean stand right behind our seats is actually a hidden oasis of adult frozen beverages and I was so excited I had to tweet about it.

The only problem with the hard beer was that it did not skimp on the mystery alcohol. The consensus was that it was root beer schnapps and since it was literally my breakfast, I had to pump the brakes for the second round.

But then I got right back on the day drinking horse.

Due to all the booze and sugar, I had to pep things up for the final round.

With the Brewers nursing a first inning 1-0 lead through the seventh, things were looking grim for the Dodgers and the few fans who remained. After Take Me Out to the Ball Game, my lovely wife tapped out and hid out from the heat in the New Era store.

Dodger Stadium Heat

Anyone who has the MacGyver skills to fashion a hat out of a drink holder is someone you want on your side when the apocalypse goes down. The guy on the bottom right was one of many who turned his Father’s Day boxers into a Shemagh so you know he probably has a particular set of skills too.

Once Kiké Hernandez tied the game with a home run in the bottom of the eighth, I decided it was probably a good time to make one of my better decisions since that time I picked out seats in the shade and go find my wife and call it a day.

It was the second game in a row that I left early that ended with the Dodgers winning in a walk-off. (Maybe I’m their good luck charm?) Thanks to absolutely zero traffic, we were deep into Silver Lake when Scott Van Slyke trotted home as the winning run and by the time the first mouth breather called-in to Dodger Talk, we were already rolling up our driveway.

Getting to miss that segment almost made up for the brutal weather.






Game 17: Justin Turner 3 – Brewers 2

The matchup: Dodgers vs Brewers (6.17.16)
Special Guest: My buddy Greg. He grew up in Milwaukee but knows who to root for.
Snacks: Uh, somewhere between the beers and margaritas (I shall decline say how many) there was a Dodger Dog or two.
Giveaway: Nope. It was Fireworks Night.
Memorable Moment: Getting to hang out with Greg. He’s got a crazy job that has him pretty much circumnavigating the globe every week.

Greg and Todd

Greg and I at our first game together since the original Vin Scully’s bobblehead night in 2012.

RECAP: It took a few tries (and seasons) but my buddy Greg and I were finally able to make it to a game together AND his hometown Milwaukee Brewers happened to be the Dodgers’ opponent.

Sunset at Dodger Stadium

This view never gets old.

We met up at The Short Stop to pregame with some tall boys before making the walk over the hill to Dodger Stadium. One of the first people we saw when we staggered onto Vin Scully Ave was this guy.

Aaron Rogers jersey

But where’s the cheese head?

Julio Urias made his second career Dodger Stadium start and was lights out. Justin Turner gave him a 1-0 lead with solo shot in the bottom of the first and the kid made it last for five innings on a mostly efficient 85 pitches. Then, out of fear his arm would fall off if he threw an 86th pitch, Urias was pulled in the top of the sixth for Louis Coleman.

Four batters (and one Adam Liberatore appearance) later, the Brewers took a 2-1 lead and erased any chance of Urias getting his first career win.

As things were looking extra dire for the Dodgers, Greg dropped some absolutely mind blowing trivia on me. The Milwaukee Brewers’ classic logo features a hidden ‘m’ and ‘b’.

Call me slow on the uptake, but I never realized that. Now it’s as plain as day.


See the M and the B in the mitt?

Luckily for the Dodgers, that Justin Turner fellow went up to bat in the bottom of the eighth and launched a 1-2 pitch into the Dodger bullpen to tie the game.

Suddenly faced with the prospect of a game going into extras, Greg and I made the executive decision to call it a night. He’d been up since the wee hours of the morning to fly back to LA and was fading.

Luckily for us, he found a second wind as we walked by El Compadre and ducked in to watch the game and have another drink or three. It was my first time there and was pleasantly surprised to see it was pretty much a Dodger sports bar. In all my years of living in LA, I never knew such a thing existed.

After watching Pedro Baez semi-miraculously hold Milwaukee scoreless in the top of the tenth, the Dodgers got right to work in their half of the inning. Will Venable hit a ground-rule double and was moved over to third on a sacrifice bunt by A.J. Ellis. Faced with a runner on third and only one out, Brewers manager Craig Counsell did the totally logical thing and intentionally walked the next two batters to bring up Turner with the bases loaded.

Justin Turner steps to the plate

The fans behind home plate are smiling because they know what Turner is about to do.

Turner didn’t let an 0-2 count scare him and lined the game winning hit into center field and sent high fives flying around El Compadre. To the best of my knowledge, this was my first-ever walkout walk-off.

Finally, tonight’s Obscure Jersey of the Night Award goes to Greg.

Who is Mausser

Greg said he found this Dodger jersey in his boss’ storage unit. I have no idea who Mausser is and neither does Greg.


Game 16: Brewers 8 – Dodgers 6

The matchup: Dodgers vs Brewers (6.16.16)
Special Guest: My friend Meg.
Snacks: Bud Heavy (x3!) Nacho Helmet. Boom.
Giveaway: Duke Snider retired number pin.
Memorable Moment: Trayce Thompson’s three run homer is the lone standout among all the moments Dodger fans would like to forget.


Taking it out to the ballgame with my friend Meg. Adding to the miscues on the night was the t-shirt I chose to wear. The Dodgers have never won when I wear this shirt. I thought tonight might finally be the night but no dice. Sorry, KISS. This bad boy is going to Goodwill. 

Recap: Let’s start with a quiz.

Which of these bizarre occurrences happened during this game?

A: Clayton Kershaw pinch ran for A.J. Ellis in the bottom of the ninth with two outs.
B: Yasmani Grandal was a nanosecond away from erasing a game tying sac fly by trying to tag up from first to second.
C: John Stamos kissed Bob Saget on DodgerVision
D: Kenley Jansen warmed up but didn’t enter the game with the score tied in the ninth inning.
F: All of the Above.

If you said ‘F’, congratulations. You guessed correctly. And as fate would have it, an F is a more than fair grade for how the Dodgers played and were managed. This game was filled with more bad decisions than a car load of Kardashians.

Perhaps the craziest one of all was Dave Roberts’ decision to put Clayton into the game as a pinch runner for A.J. in the ninth. After A.J. notched a pinch hit single, my friend Marc and I speculated about who could possibly pinch run for A.J. Thanks to Scott Kazmir throwing 10,000 pitches by the fourth inning, the Dodger bench was long depleted.

Kershaw was the only player left who made the slightest shred of sense on the basis that he might be half a step faster than A.J. but putting him into a situation where he might be involved in a gnarly play at the plate with the game on the line?

No thanks.

He’s a gamer and all but man, that’s a season wrecking disaster waiting to happen.

In better news, though, Trayce Thompson continued his tear with a three run shot and back-to-back errors by Brewer center fielder Keon Braxton made for a nice blast of hilarity and gave Dodger fans plenty of optimism that the Boys in Blue would be getting that W.

Just an inning earlier, the situation was so dire, fans resorted to looking at underpants for entertainment.


See, look. Dodger boxer shorts. Free to the first 40,000 fans this Father’s Day.

Despite the outcome, it’s never a bad night when you can drink some beers and eat 12lbs of nachos out of a novelty helmet. Plus, random, non-giveaway weeknight games can be the best because the fans who do show up are the ones who really want to be there.

Empty Dodger Stadium

This was the crowd that stuck around for the bottom of the ninth and we were just as loud as a full stadium.


Obligatory Nacho Helmet glamor shot.

Finally, here’s a brand new feature: The Obscure Jersey of the Night Award.

This evening’s winner belonged to a JD Drew fan.


JD Drew in the house.